The W.O.M.A.N. Inc. Volunteer Experience: Survivor Support Volunteers

For many years, our volunteer program was focused on a few key opportunities: working on our 24-hour crisis line, with our children’s program, and in our outreach program. These opportunities continue to be central to our work in that the crisis line is often the first point of contact for survivors. Volunteers working on the line understand what an important role they play in helping survivors to feel safe and comfortable when accessing support. They offer emotional support through peer counseling, utilizing skills such as validation, reframing, and active listening, as well as help survivors put together plans for staying safer. Volunteers inform the clients about our other support services and how to access them, and provide appropriate referrals to outside agencies.

“Working on the crisis line has been an eye-opening experience. It is sometimes sobering, but always powerful to hear the survivors’ stories, and rewarding to be able to hold space for them.” – Rowan

Our children’s program was designed to offer support to the children of survivors while the parent attends support group. This both reduces a barrier to accessing support for the survivor and provides a safe and structured environment for the youth to process their own experiences around violence and to practice healthy and respectful interactions with adults and other children. During group, Marriage and Family Therapy interns and trainees and volunteers facilitate art projects designed by A Window Between Worlds. These projects offer a hands-on approach to healing that many youth and adult clients connect with.

“Volunteering with W.O.M.A.N. Inc.’s Children’s Group is a truly unique and rewarding experience.  Although I aim to make a difference in the lives of the children that come to the group, at the end of the day, it is the children who have made an impact on me–their strength, courage, and sweet personalities are ones I will never forget.” – Jaymie

Volunteers working in the outreach area help to field requests for presentations and facilitate workshops for community members on topics like domestic violence, healthy relationships, consent, and how to support friends and family who are in violent relationships. They also attend community events (such as Pride or Carnaval) in order to raise awareness about domestic violence and our services, and help to promote our events in the community.

“Working for the Outreach team for W.O.M.A.N. Inc. has been both an enriching and positive experience. Any group or individual we come in contact with shows nothing but support for the work that W.O.M.A.N. Inc. and agencies like ours do everyday.” – Annie

In the last few years, we have expanded our program to offer many more opportunities that speak to the diverse experiences, interests, and strengths of volunteers who join our community. Bilingual Spanish-speaking volunteers have the opportunity to work with our Latina program, providing support to monolingual Spanish-speaking survivors who are receiving case management services with us. In this area, volunteers take Spanish calls on the crisis line, provide consultations to people interested in the program, peer counseling, and safety planning. They are also trained to accompany clients to appointments with lawyers, police, and health care providers in order to relieve some of the overwhelm that comes along with navigating intimidating systems with limited English proficiency. Volunteers also work alongside our Latina Program Manager to support administrative projects, reporting, translation, presenting to Spanish-speaking community groups, and more.

“I really love volunteering for the Latina Program because it’s an opportunity for me to use my Spanish speaking, a skill I’ve had all my life, to assist a population in our community that may not have otherwise reached out for help due to language barriers.” – Monique

In addition to serving Spanish-speaking survivors, we are committed to cultivating a diverse pool of volunteers with different cultural identities and language skills. For bilingual volunteers, there is an opportunity to join our Language Support Advocates pool. Folks who participate in this area provide on-call support to the crisis line so that when a survivor calls the line or comes into the office, we increase our ability to serve them in their native language. This can make all the difference when taking the risk of reaching out to unfamiliar people or organizations for support and information.

We offer a couple of advanced opportunities to volunteers who have not only completed the Survivor Advocate training, but have also actively volunteered in a direct capacity for at least a couple of months and then complete additional training. One of these opportunities is working with survivors in-person during our ‘drop-in support hours.’ Three times a week, survivors can walk into our office for support and information about our services. Volunteers sit down and have a conversation with each individual in order to assess whether our services are the best fit for them, to offer emotional support, to work on a safety plan, and to make relevant referrals. This is how clients connect with our therapy program, Latina program case management, children’s and support groups.

“Working during consultation hours has been a great experience! It is such a huge impact; just seeing the survivor face-to-face and having them walk out of the office with a smile and a little more hope is a great feeling.” – Adilia

Sometimes, our more experienced volunteers are offered the chance to train for support group facilitation. In this role, volunteers work alongside staff or MFT interns/trainees to lead English or Spanish-speaking support groups, helping to hold the space, enforce ground rules, manage time, and ensure that each participant has the opportunity to share. Facilitators incorporate educational topics related to domestic violence, such as healthy relationships and boundaries, red flags of an abusive relationship, what to expect when leaving, etc. They also sometimes utilize art projects from A Window Between Worlds, as well as meditation and visualization, breathing techniques, and somatic practices.

“The training to facilitate support groups at W.O.M.A.N. Inc. was great–it was really comprehensive and covered a lot of ground but was interesting and engaging at the same time. The training in combination with observing support groups means that you get a really clear understanding of what the support groups are for and how they work.” – Helen

As you can see, volunteers are instrumental in increasing our capacity to directly support survivors! Within our training and programs, they have the opportunity to hone their skills as advocates, try on many different hats, and make a difference in the lives of other community members. In turn,  our team has the opportunity to learn from each individual’s experience, perspective, and creative approach to supporting survivors.

For information about our volunteer program, please email volunteercoord@womaninc.org.

Want to know more about the W.O.M.A.N. Inc. volunteer experience? Click here!

W.O.M.A.N. Inc. Volunteer Spotlight–Rowan Pack

Rowan Pack joined W.O.M.A.N. Inc. in May 2012. Early on she helped in keeping our Domestic Violence Information and Referral Center up-to-date with helpful resource info for advocates. Soon after, Rowan went through our 40-hour training, providing thoughtful input on working with survivors, and becoming one of the most patient, reliable and dedicated crisis line volunteers we’ve seen. In addition to providing peer counseling in an empowering and nonjudgmental fashion, she also helps to guide new volunteers through their own observation process as they prepare to take their first call. Rowan has also been a stellar volunteer in the outreach area, attending community events and spreading the word about the anti-domestic violence movement and our services. We’re thankful to work with such a considerate and committed volunteer! Here is what Rowan has to say about her experience:

“Working in a birth center as a student midwife, I was witness to domestic violence of varying degrees on a (sadly) regular basis. As I found myself playing a fairly intimate role in the lives of these survivors, I decided I would seek out more formalized training on how to be an ally, and through this search I found W.O.M.A.N. Inc. I attended the 40 hour training and have since worked on the crisis line once a week for about 8 months. I have also had the privilege of serving as a representative of W.O.M.A.N. Inc. at several outreach opportunities, attending additional trainings, and forming relationships with others involved in this work.

Volunteering at W.O.M.A.N. Inc. has been an incredible opportunity. From my first day of training, I was awed by the complex analysis of oppression I saw presented by many different members of the DV community. Since working on the crisis line, I’ve both been exposed to the realities of domestic violence, and been able to provide tangible support to those seeking it. For me, in the face of such an ugly truth, these are two really important steps–recognition and support–and I feel extremely lucky to be a part an organization that is doing those things on a much larger scale than I, as an individual, could.

Coming in for my crisis line shift has become one of the highlights of my week! It includes many difficult conversations, to be sure, but it also includes meaningful interactions with both callers and co-volunteers, and continued growth as an ally.”

W.O.M.A.N. Inc. Volunteer Spotlight–Kabria Pervoe

Kabria Pervoe joined our community of volunteers in February 2013 through an internship coordinated with the SAGE Scholars Program at UC Berkeley. She participated in our 40-hour training and has since been an active volunteer on the crisis line and in our Latina program. Kabria approaches this tough work with warmth, humor, and a great deal of understanding and appreciation for the many challenges that the survivors we work with are navigating. She is able to provide vital emotional and practical support to monolingual Spanish-speaking clients, assisting them with immigration benefits and in connecting them to other resources in the community. Kabria is leaving us to study Spanish for several months, but we look forward to working with her again when she returns! To learn more about Kabria and her experiences at W.O.M.A.N. Inc., check out her interview below!

What inspired you to do anti-violence work?

I have had friends and family closely affected by violence and specifically intimate partner violence. It is a line of work that is pretty near to my heart. I am also interested in becoming a counselor in the future and I wanted to get first hand experience working with survivors and trying to help them.

What kind of opportunities have you been involved with here?

I have been actively involved with W.O.M.A.N. Inc. as a crisis line counselor as well as a volunteer for the Latina Program working with Spanish-speaking survivors.

How has your involvement impacted your life?

My involvement with W.O.M.A.N. Inc. and as a domestic violence advocate has impacted my life in so many ways that I didn’t even think possible. It has been a journey in which I am becoming more aware of my own assumptions and biases. I am now aware of the detrimental effects that making assumptions can have on people. I am more patient in my life and more self aware. I am questioning beyond the initial presentation of a problem and trying to look deeper and at both sides of the story.

Situations that involve domestic violence are really complex and complicated and there is not a simple explanation of why it occurs or why the survivor just doesn’t leave (a common question of the uninformed). I am using my newfound knowledge and awareness of domestic violence and translating it into many other areas of my life. I also feel like I have a healthier relationship as a result of my involvement.

Working with survivors has also made me realize that even though I alone can’t necessarily eliminate violence in my community, my immediate contribution is making a real difference and is contributing towards that end goal. I can feel it in the reactions of the survivors with whom I interact. It has given me the courage to tackle the problems that don’t have simple answers.

What pieces of wisdom would you share with new volunteers or community members who are interested in supporting W.O.M.A.N. Inc.?

Even though I haven’t been with W.O.M.A.N. Inc. for very long, I have done a lot of hours and I have encountered a wide variety of clients and cases. My most helpful piece of wisdom would probably be to not take on the responsibility for the safety or wellbeing of the client with whom you interact. There might be calls or interactions that you may become more closely or personally involved in. You may feel helpless because there aren’t many resources or services you can provide them with, but you really want to help them and see them get out of the situation. When you hang up the phone or end the interaction with the client, you may feel like you weren’t much of a help or wish you could’ve done more (at least I know I did at times). Just know that even though you may have not been able to provide them with resources or advice that could immediately affect their situation, the simple fact that you picked up the phone and were able to listen to their problems and show them support really makes a difference and helps them realize that they are not alone.

What do you enjoy the most about volunteering at W.O.M.A.N. Inc.?

I really enjoy the sense of community that I feel when I am working at W.O.M.A.N. Inc. I feel accepted and appreciated by every employee and volunteer. It is so wonderful that you can laugh and feel heard in a room full people who are your superiors.

I also really love the support that I receive. It is so invaluable to be able to go to one of my supervisors and work through a difficult call with them. It makes me feel valued. It also helps me to leave the heavier conversations in the office and practice good self-care and self-awareness.

Can you share one fun fact about yourself?

I’m double-jointed and can jump rope with my arms as well as put my legs over my head. I could probably work as a contortionist if all my other career options fail.

Meet Our Friends, Community Thrift

Swapping clothes for W.O.M.A.N., Inc.!

On April 28th, 2013 our Volunteer Events Committee held a Clothing Swap Fundraiser for W.O.M.A.N., Inc. $10 fee, then swap till you drop! But what happened to the clothes that weren’t taken by any of the participants? They all (six bags of them, in fact–our supporters are generous!) got donated to Community Thrift, a wonderful local store that helps more than 200 nonprofits by giving them the proceeds from the sale of second-hand clothes. Among the organization it serves are the Asian Women’s Shelter and San Francisco Women Against Rape (SFWAR).

This is how it works: you bring your unwanted items to Community Thrift and tell them which organization you want your donation to support. The funds are distributed to nonprofits on a quarterly basis (Community Thrift takes only the operation costs). The store is staffed by employees, community service workers, and volunteers.

So if you want to support W.O.M.A.N., Inc., please consider donating your unwanted clothes to Community Thrift! The store is located at 623 Valencia St., San Francisco, CA. The donation drop-off hours are 10 am to 5 pm daily.

To learn more about Community Thrift, please visit their website: http://www.communitythriftsf.org/

The W.O.M.A.N. Inc. Latina Program Encourages Survivors to Know Their Rights

Most of the people in the US are descended from immigrants, and immigrants arrive here from all over the world under a wide variety of circumstances. As we know, domestic violence affects individuals from all walks of life; the same is true of immigrant survivors!

There are many barriers that immigrant survivors often face. Here are four specific types of obstacles:

1. Language: Immigrant survivors fear that nobody will be able to assist them in their primary language and furthermore are often intimidated by English.
2. Finances: Immigrant survivors usually end up in a financially stressful situation. While many may want to seek help, they are often afraid that they cannot afford such services.
3. Culture: It may be potentially uncomfortable to walk into an agency whose staff are of a different culture from that of a survivor.
4. Misinformation: Many times the abuser will spread misinformation to the survivor and blame them for the violence and/or threaten them with deportation.

WOMAN Inc works with other programs/agencies to help immigrant survivors of domestic violence. We offer bilingual and culturally sensitive services to Spanish-speaking survivors. In addition, we provide education about legal options, as well as referrals and advocacy. In the case of undocumented immigrants, these rights are limited to virtually nonexistent.

One example of the many people who we have helped is “Carla,” an undocumented immigrant, who came to WOMAN Inc seeking help after tolerating years of abuse.

Carla, whose name has been changed for confidentiality purposes, entered into a domestic violence relationship after coming to the United States from Mexico with her three children. Her partner became emotionally abusive, isolating her, insulting her, and controlling her. When he finally beat her within earshot of her daughter, the police arrested him and took her to the hospital, but she was frightened and misinformed about the laws in the United States and downplayed her situation with the police out of fear of losing her children. She then filed a restraining order against her abuser, but after he was released from jail, he disregarded the restraining order, and became even more controlling. She suffered a significant amount of physical and mental harm as a result of the abuse she received in this relationship.

Finally, she was given information about WOMAN Inc services by a friend and contacted our agency. She first reached out to WOMAN Inc by calling our crisis line, in which she was able to speak to a Spanish-speaking Domestic Violence Peer Counselor. Soon after, she came into WOMAN Inc and sat down with staff from our agency to discuss her situation.  Together with the Latina Program team member, the two of them discussed her options and what goals she would like to see happen in her situation.  As a result of that meeting, she joined the Latina Program and began case management services at WOMAN Inc. Through the program, she was able to access our therapy program, learn her legal rights to remain in this country, and now is pursuing her education to become a teacher. She has also left her abusive relationship.

Carla has now graduated from the Latina Program and is a member of the Echando Pa’lante support group. Carla stated that her main hope is for the approval of her U visa. U visas are given to immigrants who are victims of crime (including domestic violence), providing them with temporary legal status and permission to work. She is expected to get the visa within several months. Thanks to crucial guidance provided by WOMAN Inc during the application process, this formerly undocumented immigrant will be able to stay in the this country. Her use of the WOMAN Inc resources—the Therapy Program and the Echando Pa’lante survivor empowerment group—transformed her initial desperation at being in an abusive relationship into a sense of hope and confidence for the future.

Catherine Connor-Moore, Latina Program assistant, assures immigrant survivors that everything is absolutely confidential. Connor-Moore adds that there are a lot of layers that come with cases of undocumented survivors. For example, intersectional oppression can arise out of the combination of various oppressions, which, together, produce something unique and distinct from any one form of discrimination standing alone, according to the Ontario Human Rights Commission. In the case of an immigrant survivor, this might allude to being a woman, of color, who doesn’t speak English and/or works under the table. At WOMAN Inc Connor-Moore describes a few resources that are available to survivors, such as developing job skills, access to health care, and restraining orders.

In addition, the Latina Program includes Echando Pa’lante. Meaning “Moving Forward,” it is a Latina survivor empowerment group, which meets once a month. Survivors can attend it after they have graduated from their initial case management program.

After graduating from the Latina Program, survivors often need continued support. Started in 2011, Echando Pa’lante provides them with an invaluable support network. The group hosts workshops, trainings, and presentations on topics requested by participants, all in Spanish. In the past year, members of the group have received trainings to start their own businesses, learned about their rights pertaining to immigration and how to be a domestic violence educator, and participated in a women’s health bingo about early signs of breast cancer.

“We are here to support survivors, regardless of what their immigration status is. A major goal of WOMAN Inc is to show survivors that they have worth and value and they deserve to be in a safe relationship,” Connor-Moore said.

~ Written by Sandy Lopez

Carla is just one of the many immigrant survivors our agency helps every day. Each week, our agency is contacted by dozens of more survivors in need of help. Please help us continue to provide support to vulnerable population by donating to our agency today! 

Ongoing Education: Supporting Queer & Transgender Domestic Violence Survivors

Every month, we facilitate ongoing education meetings in an effort to continue learning how to best support survivors and each other, and to create opportunities to build a stronger community within WOMAN Inc. In April, we focused on supporting queer and transgender survivors of domestic violence as part of our larger effort to provide more inclusive services to these communities.

Staff members Jill, Mary, and Lily facilitated a session focused on understanding terms related to working with LGBTQ communities, some of the unique ways in which queer and transgender folks might experience abuse, and how we as advocates can be better allies. Participants helped to create a safe and supportive space for some learning and unlearning, and enriched the conversation with their diverse perspectives and experiences. Thanks to our advocates who are equally committed to our inclusion efforts!

Regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity, or other cultural or community identities, there are some very fundamental things that make a relationship unhealthy or abusive. At the core, DV consists of one person misusing power and control, exploitation, manipulation, humiliation, dehumanizing, taking away a person’s right to self-determination and loving and equitable relationships. We see these tactics used in abusive relationships in all communities. At the same, we all need to be aware that there are some specific barriers that can present in LGBTQ communities. The following lists potential similarities and differences:

Similarities to violence in cisgender, heterosexual relationships:

• One person using their power to control another person
• Same rate
• Same categories of abuse
• Same level of severity
• Same pattern of abuse
• Similar effects on the survivor
• The survivor stays for the same reasons
• Children are directly or indirectly affected by harm

Different considerations when dealing with survivors who identify as members of a LGBTQ community:

• LGBTQ communities largely don’t identify DV as a community issue
• The survivor is likely to have the same support systems, such as friends and social spaces, as the abuser. Leaving their partner may mean they lose their community.
• Internalized homophobia, biphobia, and transphobia increase the self-blame of the survivor.
• The abuser and/or others may blame the survivor’s sexual and/or gender identity for the abuse.
• Lack of visibility of LGBTQ individuals means that there are few role models for relationships.
• Myth of mutual abuse
• DV reinforces the idea that the survivor’s gender or sexuality is abnormal.
• If the non-biological parent is being harmed they may fear losing their children.

How to become an ally?

WOMAN Inc believes in the power of allyship! Many social changes (such as the Civil Rights movement, farm workers’ rights, etc) were propelled forward when allies came together with those who directly identified with a movement. The following are some steps we can all take to become an ally for groups that we may or may not personally identify with:

·         Be careful with your assumptions about people and communities. Ask direct, respectful questions if you have them.

·         Use correct pronouns and names (if you don’t know how someone would like to be addressed, ask!)

·         Rewire your psychology about gender, community groups, cultures, etc. Recognize that beliefs can be based on assumptions and misinformation.

·         Be physically present; acknowledge and respect people’s concerns– support them whenever possible.

·         Remember, when dealing with relationship abuse in trans communities service providers cannot turn someone away for services or shelter because they are transgender (According to the City ordinance, any self-identified woman has the right to access shelters. They can ask their shelter about ordinances for their county/city).

·         Allow yourself and others moments of contemplation—be sure that you are offering support and not demonizing someone or offering unrealistic solutions.

·         Important to remember what role we play together when working to end violence or other social ills.

·         Educate yourself. Are the questions you asking relevant for the survivor? Are you asking them just because you are personally curious or because the question will help you better help a survivor?

Matt Kailey has done some wonderful work on helping us all become trans-allies. Here are a few principles that speak to us:

–A trans ally speaks up for us, but doesn’t speak for us. No matter how many trans people an ally knows and no matter how long he/she/ze has been involved in the community, an ally understands that trans people need to speak for themselves and that we are the best ones to describe our own experiences.

–A trans ally acknowledges his/her/hir own power and privilege and is aware of it, but also acknowledges ours. In other words, a trans ally understands that we are not victims and don’t need rescuing, but also understands that the support of allies is beneficial to our community.

–A trans ally works for inclusion, not just diversity. In other words, adding a “T” to your organization’s name or displaying photos of trans people on your website might reflect diversity, but it does not reflect inclusion.

To see more of Matt Kailey’s work, follow this link: http://tranifesto.com/

More on domestic violence in the LGBTQ communities here: Domestic Violence Suffered by the LGBTQ Communities

WOMAN Inc Donor Highlight–Semifreddi’s Bakery

 

 

What is your name?

Dan Holzer.

How did you first learn about WOMAN Inc?

My friend invited me to a WOMAN Inc fundraising dinner last year as well as to recent events like the Doggie Walk Against DV. I was impressed by the organization and its efforts.

What inspired you to support WOMAN Inc’s anti-violence efforts?

Violence sucks. Violence in the home sucks even more, it’s unthinkable. We here at Semifreddi’s greatly appreciate the work that you do at WOMAN Inc and we understand your funding challenges.

What is the impact you hope for your support to have on the community?

We hope that our help will provide some relief to the staff of WOMAN Inc and other charitable organizations that we support. We believe that it is simply our obligation as a successful family business to be active in, and support the community around us–the community that supports us.

Can you share one fun fact about yourself?

I shave once a week.

Semifreddi’s has been an ongoing supporter of WOMAN Inc for several years. Our agency is grateful for all the bread and pastries they have supplied for our volunteer events, trainings, and other community outreach events! They’ve helped fill hungry tummies and allowed domestic violence advocates and community members to collaborative in much more harmonious ways to work towards ending domestic violence in our communities. To learn more about Semifreddi’s, visit http://www.semifreddis.com/